You know you’re a mom when you understand why Mama Bear’s porridge was too cold. Yes, please get a new cup every time you need water - said no mom ever.ĥ3. Baby snake: “Mommy, are we poisonous?”ĥ2. Mom: “I don’t know, sweetheart, I haven’t had one since you were born.”ĥ1. When your mom’s voice is so loud, even your neighbors brush their teeth and get dressed. A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do in a day.Ĥ9. My Mom told me I’d never amount to anything because I procrastinate too much.Ĥ7. At my age I’m no longer a snack I’m a Happy Meal. Motherhood is fun and all, but have you ever had the house alone on a Saturday?Ĥ4. There is a legend that if you take a shower and scream “Mom” three times, a nice lady appears with the towel you forgot.Ĥ3. Whoever wrote the song “Easy Like Sunday Morning” did not have kids.Ĥ1. Nothing is really lost… until mom can’t find it.Ĥ0. Never doubt a mother! She can carry a screaming toddler, two gallons of milk, talk on her cell phone, and still slap the snot out of you for looking at her crazy.ģ9. Mom: The amazing ability to hear a sneeze through closed doors, in the middle of the night, three bedrooms away… While daddy snores next to you.ģ7. What did the mother broom say to the baby broom? It’s time to go to sweep!ģ6.
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I hate when I’m waiting for mom to cook dinner, and then I remember I am the mom, and I have to cook dinner.ģ5. What did the mommy spider say to the Baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.ģ4. Licked a dark smear off my finger, and then thought, “Phew it’s chocolate.”ģ3. Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!ģ2. Unless you have kids, then silence is suspicious.ģ1. What was Cleopatra’s favorite day of the year? Mummy’s day.ģ0. She knew it was ‘no’ all along and just wanted everyone to STFU.”Ģ9. What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up! Mom: “Look at that kid over there he’s not misbehaving.”Ģ6. There are two amounts of pasta moms are good at cooking:Ģ5. How do you keep little cows quiet, so their mommy can sleep late? Use the moooooote button.Ģ4. What sweets do astronaut moms like? Mars bars.Ģ2. What did the lazy boy say to his mom on Mother’s Day when she was about to do the dishes? “Relax mom… you can just do them in the morning.”Ģ1. I forgot to mail it but I think she knows.Ģ0. I bought my mom a mug that says, “Happy Mother’s Day from the World’s Worst Son”. What do you call a short mom? A mini-mum.ġ9. Cleaning with kids in the house is like brushing your teeth with Oreos.ġ8. What color flowers do mama cats like to get? Purrrrrrrple flowers.ġ7. I asked a police recruit during an exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?”ġ6. What makes more noise than a child jumping on mommy’s bed? Two children jumping on mommy’s bed!ġ5. Why is Mother’s Day before Father’s Day? So the kids can spend all their Christmas money on mom.ġ4. What are the three quickest ways to spread a rumor? The internet, telephone, and telling your mom.ġ3. Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook.ġ2. Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long!ġ1. Why did the mommy cat want to go bowling? She was an alley cat.ġ0. Why did they have to rush the mommy rattlesnake to the doctor? She bit her tongue!ĩ. Why is a computer so smart? Because it listens to its motherboard.Ĩ. Don’t wake up mom! There are at least seven species that eat their young. What did the panda give his mommy? A bear hug.Ħ. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where’s Pop-corn?ĥ. What kind of flowers are best for Mother’s Day? Mums.Ĥ. Son: “Well, isn’t that what M-O-M stands for?”ģ.
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Mom: “Does it look like I am made of money?”
#Does your mom know your gay meme code
“It’s spicy” is a universal mom code for “I don’t want to share.”